Monday, February 2, 2009

I need help.

Helyn is giving us big problems lately.
It is like she is another person.
She constantly fights us, and says Leave me Alone, Don't you talk to me, and other favorite phrases.

(I admit, I taught her Cut It Out with the hand gestures when I try to get her to stop things and now she says it with Authority and without the gestures.. although I could see using a single finger gesture. LOL)

She is fighting us Tooth and Nail when it comes to bedtime. First she told us it was her bed, she doesn't like her bed. We moved her bed and put a mattress on the floor for now. It worked for one night.. now we are back to her not wanting to be in her room. I believed it played out for over an hour last night.

I had to walk away and think about what I was doing last night. I was picking her up and putting her back on the bed she didn't want to be on, and walking out the door wit her screaming over and over again.

After the umpteenth time, I thought, how is this looking to her? Mommy is getting angrier and angrier and picking me up and putting me on the bed when I don't want to be on it and then running away.... It just broke my heart. So I put her back on the bed and I kept my tone quiet and comforting and stroked her hair until she calmed down. She finally settled and fell asleep.

Right now... These are the things she makes the biggest deal about.

She wont take a bath, or a shower for that matter. She was taking a shower, but only if you held her while you were cleaning her. Now she doesn't want one at all.

She doesn't want to go bed.

She doesn't want to use the big toilet.

She will only use the little blue potty ( if I am lucky) 2-3 times a day even though she should be peeing 20 times a day with all the liquid she has.

She is still not pooing.

She refuses to eat her dinner most of the time ( 1 out of 7 nights a week we might get her to eat).

Those are the only things that come to my head at the moment...

But yea... I am going to try to keep my cool and encourage her to do them.. but I don't know how to get her to do them. I was reading up on this book called unconditional parenting. You use love instead of discipline or time outs to encouragae your child to do things. I am on the fence about getting the book and just maybe using some of his ideas that I have read.

I am open to advice here. This girl has way more issues than the boys ever had. LOL


Karin said...

I think Tegan and Helyn are twins. As soon as I ask her to do something, she says 'No' and the tantrums ensue. Ugh! I have no advice sorry, just sympathies.

Christine said...

Thanks Karin.
Its funny how often Lynn tells me to read your blog.. although I have pretty much since you started it ;) LOL.
They are kindred souls aren't they?

Noah and Emily said...

Try what Super Nanny does. Just keep putting her to bed without showing any emotion. I haven't tried it but it seems to work. The first time you give her hugs/kisses, then the second time you tell her it is bedtime and then leave. The third and consecutive times go in there, put her in bed with no words or emotions. Only go in there if you are certain she is out of bed/room.

For other stuff, try a token reward system. If she eats her supper (good portion of it), has a bath, goes potty then she gets a token in a jar or whatever she likes (maybe marbles or a sticker). If she won't do something after you warn her then she gets a token taken away. At the end of the night if she has so many tokens (Noah we use 3) he gets a reward, such as extra time with mommy, read a couple of books, a hot tub (he loves those mind you). With Helyn, it could be special time such as a book of her own before bed or a tea party?.

Bath time, have you tried some cool new toys, bubble bath or bath foam?

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I am a working mother of three wonderful children and a supportive wife to my husband of nearly 15 years. 

I started this blog to find empowerment in daily things and to find ways to encourage my children to become enlightened adults who have a zest for life.